The OC, CA [Rated PG-13]

[PG-13 for Hard Hitting Descriptions and References to Hot Bodies and Hollywood]

The pursuit of beauty over all else. Everything in favor of the ever ellusive audience enchanting “moneyshot.” Southern California boasts an army of spewing fountains watering freshly green manicured lawns, guarded by rows of softly swaying palm trees, singing along with the salty seabreeze blowing inland from the coast.

Ocean County is the most photogenic county in California, even in the midst of the state’s worst drought in recent history. On quiet nights you can hear Disneyland’s fireworks popping over their enchanted dancing waterfountains! It’s as if there isn’t even a drought here! Magic!

But that’s the beauty of being here in the OC. Everyone is frontin’ and we all agree everyone else on PCH and “The 405” is a worse driver than we are. Everyone here, myself included, looks better without shirt and shoes. Pedestrians have legs to rival runway models and everyone surfs and plays guitar because they’re all part-time beach bums, part-time singer-songwriting DJs.

SoCal refers to Southern California’s West Coast from Hollywood to San Diego. It would include the counties of Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, Orange (the OC), and San Diego.

It’s characteristic of Beach and Surfer Culture, and Pacific Coast Highway (PCH) is a favorite to zoom down in your daddy’s mercedes, blasting “Billboard’s Top 40” or the latest new hit single. Omg roflol.

But regardless of this collective delusion in the invincibility of their beautiful Roma, the city of Angels can be seen from the heights of the prophetic Griffiths Observatory as sitting in a cloud of yellow opaque smog. A desert city, that long ago decided that their infrastructure would focus more on concrete roads for cars and highways rather than public transport solutions, has created a car culture completely dependent on the oil and auto production industries.

Hollywood has had a complex influence over both SoCal’s development and the manufacture of movies that fuel and dictate the perception of American
culture overseas. Just consider the influence that Disney’s had in both North America and abroad. You can see the culture of stagecraft pervasive through the design of the beachfront towns and gated communities all landscaped and surrounded by the swaying non-native palm trees lining the streets.

The people that live here in SoCal? There is so much fantasy material. California boys are all washboard abs in wetsuits jumping in and out of the water daring each other to out surf the next wave. California girls are all sunglasses and beach blonde hair spilled over sunsoaked skin and an Asian smile, or white, or black, or Mexican grin peeking out from underneath. Anyone might be blonde in SoCal!

Lol.

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